8.24.2011

IT'S KWANZAA IN AUGUST!

just wanted to wish you guys a happy kwanzaa in august! to celebrate, sandra lee of semi-homemade cooking with sandra lee has kindly offered her expertise to concoct one of the most... controversial cakes in the history of the world wide web.


sandra, i want you take that knife and give it a whirl in the jugular of whatever producer thought this segment would be a good idea. if you're feeling guilty, you can always top the wound off with pie filling or shove a florescent taper candle in there to stop the bleeding.

a brief analysis:

her voice..."decorating is so much FUN." not only is it about as soothing as a nasal cheese grater, but you can just tell she's not into it, like your high school girlfriend. skeletor--i mean sandra herself doesn't even believe what's happening before her eyes! 

now, i'm not totally sure if the whole idea behind this cake is semi-racist or semi-ignorant, but i am wholly positive that cake does not taste "dee-licious" or "so amazing." semi-coma-inducing? quasi-nauseating maybe? but i will not accept delicious. i will also not accept this as a hostess gift if i were to throw a kwanzaa/harvest potluck in the near future. 

there's just too many flavors going on here. if you have to embellish a culinary creation with pumpkin seeds and acorns (corn nuts, right?), you better be making bird suet, not a nipple cake with giant, oddly-colored dinner candles in it.

and don't you just love the way she plops that portion down on the plate? we can only acknowledge it as an admission of defeat and failure. look at that.

- EL CAPITÁN

No comments: