9.19.2011

JUST ANOTHER MANLY MONDAY: THEODORE ROOSEVELT

the man died 92 years ago, but his masculinity remains unchallenged. theodore roosevelt, or teddy as we'll affectionately call him, was quite a manly man.


you probably knew he was the 26th president of the united states, his fifth cousin franklin frowns on our dimes, and probably 78% of you know his gigantic head is carved into mount rushmore, but this dude had a whole lot more going on. for one thing, that 'stache, but who knew the man boxed at harvard university?


teddy's senior portrait from harvard (notice the big stick-- {no not that one, gross}-- we'll come back to that later) where he developed an interest in natural history and naval strategy. from here, he goes on to ranch cattle in the dakotas

so far, teddy's hovering around a 7 on the manly-scale. 

hold on to your kerchief, folks, it only gets manlier from here.


while in dakota territory, teddy became deputy sheriff and once captured three outlaws who'd stolen his riverboat. rather than hang them and yield to established law procedures in place of vigilante justice, he led them overland to a fair trial, guarding them over forty hours without sleep. 

oh, and he read tolstoy to keep him awake. 

so, now he's up to an 8 on the manly-scale. big deal, right? its not like he fought police corruption or led a cavalry regiment in the spanish-american war or became president or anything...


well, he did. teddy roosevelt became the youngest president of the united states (at age 42) in 1901 after mckinley's assassination-- his motto, "speak softly, but carry a big stick." 

see? we told you we'd come back to that harvard picture.


as president, teddy established one of the nation's first conservation programs, legislated five national parks, orchestrated the completion of the panama canal, negotiated an end to the russo-japanese war and was the first american to win the nobel peace prize. 


if you're interested in the lovely souvenir scarf or panama sunglasses, kind reader, you can follow the links to your fancy. 

meanwhile, teddy's way past 8 and is somewhere between 11 and 12 on the manly-scale (that's out of 10, y'all.)

after leaving office in 1908, roosevelt skips the recliner and season tickets to the new york jets and embarks on a safari to africa and an extensive tour of europe and south america. 


teddy contracted malaria while in south america which greatly affected his health. he died shortly thereafter at age 60. 


there you have it-- roosevelt tips the manly-scale at about a 13.5. we love him, america loves him and children everywhere unwittingly pay homage to him-- yes, he is also responsible for that stuffed bear we call "teddy." 


here's to you, theodore roosevelt. 

-THE HUNTER

2 comments:

hannah margaret said...

good ole teds.

that first picture is a perfect mix of terrifying and warm. love manly mondays.

LITTLE CHIEF said...

haha just as a man should be. thanks for reading, dearie!