kind reader, did you participate in no-shave november? 
if you're a girl and answered "yes," pour yourself a tall glass of give-a-damn because it's november 28th and your legs are probably cringe-worthy. sorry we're not sorry. yeah, we're lazy sometimes too, but trust us on this one and spend that extra four minutes in the shower. unfortunately, we can't use the "we're raising awareness" excuse because refusing to shave our legs to "raise awareness" just wouldn't be as effective as pink ribbons, 5k's, save the tatas car washes, or yogurt tops. 

new generation, same double-standard. 
but we digress. 

on the other hand, if you're swelling with testosterone and perhaps a newfound sense of masculinity, how's your chin looking these days? we love a man with a good beard and that's why we're particularly excited about today's post. so, as november comes to an end and stubble is reevaluated, enjoy this influx of bearded men and maybe, just maybe, devote a thought or two to men's health

we're still not completely sold on the man nose-ring, but we are sold on this dude. and the beard conditioner

does this corduroy vest make me look suspicious?

beard+baby and we're scooping the remains of our melted heart off the floor.  

yes, we know what you're thinking. ryan gosling has tiny ears. 

a well-groomed man is always sexy. don't let your beard run amok. 

dan auerbach has a lot of worlds colliding here-- the matador get-up, the wayfarers, the irish beard, the danish beer, the british open-palmed salute... pick a team, dan. 

we don't know who he is, but we like him. we get the vibe that he probably leaves his girlfriend cute notes around the house. 

yes, you can even purchase this coffee table book to further glorify your manhood. 

somewhere between where the wolf ends and beard begins, lies a man unmatched in masculinity and body odor. 

if you're interested in the man, we can't help you. he could be anywhere. but the lube? yeah, we got that covered. 

this top-knot is top-notch. 
see what we did there?

men-- in real life, leave the silk scarves to your grandmothers or use them as flags on your sailboats.  

if you don't know, a beard that creeps down your neck is called a neard (creativity points to the dude who came up with that one.) off-putting? sometimes. it's a tough call. 

oh, liev. don't you ever liev.

old king cole called for his pipe, and i bet we could find three fiddlers around somewhere...

justin vernon looking only slightly disheveled. it's ok, we bet he embroidered those flowers on himself while at his cabin in wisconsin. 

this guy's got so much angst that he ran out of room in his cargo pockets and had to bring along a couple bags too. 

ok, so it's not quite a beard... but we like it anyway. 

this man has so much panache, he went the extra mile and turned his decorative throw into a scarf. 

eric bana and his two-week shadow. 

we hope you enjoyed that manly monday beard expedition.
 if you're a man, maybe you're freshly inspired. maybe you'll put down that razor for a couple months or, if you're already there, maybe you'll keep it up. 
in any case, we'd encourage you take time before november is over to rub the smooth leg of a woman in gratitude and appreciation. 
if you get slapped, we take no responsibility whatsoever. if you get a kiss, well, maybe you should start shaving off that scruff. beard-burn is no fun.  



suzy said...

it's scary how similarly i would've captioned these photos.
we have much in common.
also: my husband's beard makes my knees week. when he comes in from shovelling the snow off our sidewalk, it has little patches of ice in it, and makes him look all lumberjacky. there really is nothing like a nice cold beard.


that sounds quite refreshing.

Kate said...

So, I don't know who writes this amazing blog, but I stumbles upon it and I think you are satirical geniuses and I'm gonna follow you. Hope that's not weird. BEARDS FOREVER.


weird is our middle name. happy to have you!

Jax said...

My stupid boyfriend has been growing his facial hair all month and it sucks because of the aforementioned beard burn.


beardburn is indeed a bittersweet life experience. hopefully december 1st brings a clean-shaven boyfriend your way!

onesilentwinter said...

my eyes are happy!